Junk Food is Healthy

 

*I am exploring satire. This article may offend some people. Read at your own risk. Thank you.

 

We should consider to eat more Chocolate chip cupcakes, soda, sour patch candy, and the Hostess Twinkies. We shouldn’t be eating broccoli and protein shakes. This soda and no water diet is the new way to start living healthy.  If we eat broccoli we may turn green, but with hot Cheetos you will only have a red tongue and red fingers for only twenty four hours. You won’t turn red unlike broccoli.

          This how you start your healthy diet. The first step is to go through your pantry and invade it. Then throw everything you have in there because there is better stuff to buy. Next, get in your car and drive to your nearest grocery store and park really close. Then instead of going in the aisles on the outside, go to the aisles that are in the middle of the store. Then get frozen food, ice cream, sodas, cookies, chips, muffins, cookie dough, and cinnamon rolls. These food items are the beginning of your healthy lifestyle diet. Do this your whole lifetime.

            Who cares about diabetes and heart problems? Everyone is going to die at some point might as well have fun eating sweets that are good for you. Who cares if you have clogged arteries? Eat another large fry! My suggestion to fast food places is to get the biggest size in everything. The moto you should live up to is “Bigger the better”. The grease in the food in fast food places will help you have clear skin and good eyebrows! This is the way to get clearer skin and good eyebrows by drinking soda and eating greasy foods. Let’s populate the world with more diabetes!

          The new trend nowadays is to eat fast food and to transform your pantry to a four year olds dream cabinet. In the future, there could be a cure for diabetes. Then we won’t have any problems with eating junk food. The solution could possibly be something like a high definition machine. That allows you to get rid of the diabetes. You would walk through the machine and it will start on the side of you and make its way to the other side. The machine would be a sensor machine that basically does laser eye surgery. That would hopefully take out all the not necessary sugars. These are some ideas. The idea of eating junk food is to get clearer skin and good eyebrows. This is the new health style in 2016. Let’s start today!